Shocking Shadow Looms Large!

SOMEDAY 

 SPRAT    

The Nations Favourite Chip Wrapper

25th August 2013

SHOCKING SHADOW LOOMS LARGE!

The Sprat has recently learned that Crimson Clocks intend to build a new shadow at Crimson Clocks Tower. An insider has revealed that they are busy building a new shadow and that it will be taller, darker edged and rough.

When we spoke with their next door neighbour, Mr Albert Theyrupta - Nogude (107), he had this to say "My property is only three quarters of a mile from Crimson Clocks Tower, if they go ahead with their plans to build a bigger shadow the amount of sunlight on my southern elevation could be reduced by 100%, if not more! If it hadn't been for The Sprat I would never have know about this until it was too late. I used to like living here but now I feel as though this shadow is deliberately coming after me. This used to be a respectable neighbourhood but not since that lot moved in, scattering coal all over the place with their steam engines and playing music at all hours. I've never seen the like! Now, you said you were going to pay me for this, where's me money?"

A source close to Crimson Clocks revealed that within Crimson Clocks Tower they have also been brewing an illicit drink. Our source described the drink as "smoking, glowing green", we have no hesitation in suggesting (without a shred of proof) that rock stars being what they are, once they take a drink they are certain to become something obscene.

The Sprat can only pity their poor neighbours (one of whom is slightly less poor since providing us with a mendacious quote). The combination of the plans to build a bigger shadow, and the brewing of a potion, leaves us certain that while Crimson Clocks may not get a hangover, their neighbours will most certainly pay the toll!

Now turn to Page 3 for the amazing true story of a missing kitten that was found alive and well inside a tin of custard!