Shocking Shadow Looms Large!

SOMEDAY 

 SPRAT    

The Nations Favourite Chip Wrapper

25th August 2013

SHOCKING SHADOW LOOMS LARGE!

The Sprat has recently learned that Crimson Clocks intend to build a new shadow at Crimson Clocks Tower. An insider has revealed that they are busy building a new shadow and that it will be taller, darker edged and rough.

When we spoke with their next door neighbour, Mr Albert Theyrupta - Nogude (107), he had this to say "My property is only three quarters of a mile from Crimson Clocks Tower, if they go ahead with their plans to build a bigger shadow the amount of sunlight on my southern elevation could be reduced by 100%, if not more! If it hadn't been for The Sprat I would never have know about this until it was too late. I used to like living here but now I feel as though this shadow is deliberately coming after me. This used to be a respectable neighbourhood but not since that lot moved in, scattering coal all over the place with their steam engines and playing music at all hours. I've never seen the like! Now, you said you were going to pay me for this, where's me money?"

A source close to Crimson Clocks revealed that within Crimson Clocks Tower they have also been brewing an illicit drink. Our source described the drink as "smoking, glowing green", we have no hesitation in suggesting (without a shred of proof) that rock stars being what they are, once they take a drink they are certain to become something obscene.

The Sprat can only pity their poor neighbours (one of whom is slightly less poor since providing us with a mendacious quote). The combination of the plans to build a bigger shadow, and the brewing of a potion, leaves us certain that while Crimson Clocks may not get a hangover, their neighbours will most certainly pay the toll!

Now turn to Page 3 for the amazing true story of a missing kitten that was found alive and well inside a tin of custard!     

Raising Steam!

Hello, 

This weeks blog is brought to you by special guest blogger Steven C. Davis, lead author and Creative Director at Tenebrous Texts, presenter of the CPR radio show on Reading4u.co.uk and organiser of The Raising Steam Music Festival. Now it's over to Steven... 

Roll up, roll up, come one, come all to the Raising Steam music festival in Reading.

To either side of you you’ll see some excellent Steampunk traders offering you their wares – take advantage, I urge you. Behind you now is the bar offering a fine range of drinkables; they also serve delectable food.

Preparing themselves to begin this afternoon’s engagements you can see our Masters of Ceremonies for the weekend, Jane Setter and Rob Ramsay, of Crimson Sky and Tinyfish, respectively.

I see you have purchased your ticket through Eventbrite: you could also have purchased it through the Oxfam music shop in Reading.

Over the course of the weekend you shall – for your delectation – be offered musical performances by Metropolis and Thy Last Drop from Bury St Edmunds. Flying down from Leeds, Helicopter Quartet will be opening Sunday’s proceedings while, from Oxford, the Mechanisms will be finishing off the whole weekend by bringing you the tale of Ulysses’ last day.

Singing songs of smugglers and Jack the Ripper, Gladstone hail from Northampton whilst London’s Tom Slatter brings a progressive twist to Steampunk with songs of self-made men and time travellers.

From the deepest, darkest West Country we have Miss Von Trapp opening the whole shenanigans, whilst from Exeter the Mysterious Freakshow will be bringing us into their world. From Birmingham and the Black Country come Birthrite and, from further afield, from the fair land of the Americas, we bring you none other than Montague Jacques Fromage with his SteampunkFunk Bizarre. And, lastly, but with great thanks to them for letting me write this blog, we have the Crimson Clocks.

Get tickets for your friends, neighbours, demon familiars and crew from Eventbrite and we’ll see all of you there! And if you need any further inducement, all profits go to the UK registered charity New Futures Nepal!

Steven C. Davis

Who Was That Top Hatted Superhero?

Hello,

Last night we were at Steampunk Stamford along with headliners BB Black Dog. If the rest of the event was as good as last night it was a fantastic weekend.

We took to the stage just after 7:30pm and had a blast, it was a great audience and a real pleasure to play to them. Our set included old favourites Red Violin and Evil Genius, and some of our newer numbers such as Shadow and our version of Master of The Universe. It was great to see people dancing during Limbo, it does mean of course that one gentleman's hidden superpower (of being able to dance the tango) is no longer secret. Like all true superheroes his identity remains a mystery (at least to your humble scribe) and the question remains, just who was that top hatted superhero?.

Following on from us BB Black Dog played a great set, and it was good to see their new line up. As per the title of their DVD they did indeed steal the show once again with another fine performance featuring some of their most popular numbers.

We would like to thank Lorna for inviting us to play and the work that she and helpers put in to make it such a great event. Thanks also to Axel for doing a great job with the sound during our set and to everyone there for making it so enjoyable.

Don't forget that we can be seen and heard along with a multitude of other bands at Raising Steam in Reading next month. Thanks for reading and until next time, farewell.

An August Occasion

Hello,

Next weekend (Saturday 10th August) sees us heading to Lincolnshire for Steampunk Stamford along with Gladstone and BB Black Dog, tickets are available here. The event features everything from steampunk croquet to steampunked pets and includes an author workshop by LM Cooke and Steven C. Davis.

You may be wondering if Trevor the cat will make an appearance, what the set list will be, whether it will include any rock classics and just exactly who the Evil Genius is. Answers may be provided on the night, the only way to find out is to be there.

Don't forget that in September we will be at Raising Steam which is taking place in Reading, more information can be found here.

Thanks for reading, we hope to see you in Stamford, until then farewell.

Booked!

Hello,

This weeks blog is somewhat brief, mainly because we are still recovering from last nights shenanigans at The Front Line Book Launch.

The evening began with ourselves (Crimson Clocks) and we were quickly followed by Victorian comedy from the hilarious Dr When.

Next came the book launch which included a reading or two and incidental music provided by Jo (with her usual brilliance I should add).

Birthrite then took to the stage with another great set featuring their most popular numbers.

Always good to see (and hear) and a brilliant headliner, Gladstone closed the evening with their energetic presence and songs of curses, murder and insanity to name but a few of the topics they covered. Theft should also be added to the list because they managed to steal the show. It was a blinding set, so blinding in fact that none of the photos we took during it actually worked.

Thanks to everyone that came, and in particular to Steven C. Davis, Paul Gaynor, and Kuldip Kang for their help on the night and Dan for his excellent work on the sound engineering.

Don't forget, your next chance to see Crimson Clocks (and Gladstone) is at Steampunk Stamford and in September we will be at Raising Steam - we hope to see you there.

Thanks for reading, and until next time farewell.

Prepare for Lunch/Launch

Hello,


Next Saturday (27th July 2013) sees us, Birthrite, Gladstone and Dr When at Ort for The Front Line Book Launch. So, there will be music, comedy, literature and even alcohol will be available. As if that is not enough reason to attend, there are also various highly esteemed traders selling a variety of goods.  What more could a person need on a Saturday night? (for decency's sake please note that was a rhetorical question).

Approximate timings for the book launch are as follows

Doors open at 19:00

19:30 - 20:10 Crimson Clocks

20:20 - 20:50 Dr When/Book Launch

21:05 - 21:50 Birthrite

22:05 - 22:50 Gladstone

Tickets are available in advance here or entry can be paid on the door.

In addition to the book launch the Punknic in the Park takes place the very same day in Cannon Hill Park (hence the title of this weeks blog) making Birmingham the place to be on the 27th of July. We hope to see you on the day.

Thanks for reading, and until next time, farewell. 

Ingenious Relief!

Ingeniously Evil

Provides Instant Relief 

from bites (excludes lions and tigers) and a variety of ailments. It will cure earache, swelling of the throat, constriction of the throat, elongation of the throat (unless resulting from the judicial system), toothache (restricted to false teeth only), plague and lycanthropy. 

(Please note none of the claims made for this product have any basis in fact and are merely the falsehoods of an overpaid marketing guru)

Our 5 track CD is perfect for use in cases of aching muscles, stiff joints, strains, wrenches and spanners

Non-greasey Ingeniously Evil will not stain clothing, is suitable for use in public and has not been tested on animals. In fact it hasn't been tested. At all. Ever. On anything.

A single use is sufficient to provide instant mood enhancement. 

 This long lasting product can be used time after time and is available via our website or from the following reputable outlets

The Front Line Book Launch

Steampunk Stamford

Raising Steam 

and

The Steampunk Experience At Alt-Fest 

Ingeniously Evil
Almost as effective as Snake Oil!